USC vs. UCLA

All your fountains are belong to us(c)

10. UCLA JOKE: What does a UCLA fan do when his team has won the BCS championship? He turns off the PlayStation.

10. USC JOKE: One morning, the seven dwarfs go to work in the mine. When Snow White delivers their lunches, she finds there has been a cave-in, and there's no sign of the dwarfs. Tearfully, Snow White shouts down the mine shaft, "Hello! Is anyone there? Can you hear me Sneezy, Sleepy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc, Happy and Bashful?" A voice floats up from the bowels of the mine: "Lane Kiffin is a great football coach."
"Thank goodness," says Snow White, "at least Dopey's still alive!"

9. UCLA JOKE: The Rolling Stones are playing at the Rose Bowl next week. They're 10-point favorites.

9. USC JOKE: A USC and a UCLA fan, fighting side-by-side, were captured during World War II and sentenced to die by firing squad. The enemy commander asked the USC fan if he had any last requests. The Trojan said, "I want to hear 'Conquest' one last time." The UCLA fan was then asked if he had a last request. "Yes," he said, "shoot me first."

8. UCLA JOKE: What's the difference between a former UCLA football player and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four.

8. USC JOKE: What's the difference between a litter of puppies and USC fans? Eventually puppies grow up and stop whining.

7. UCLA JOKE: What's the difference between a UCLA football player and a dollar? You can get four quarters out of a dollar.

7. USC JOKE: A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and asks, "Wanna hear a USC joke?" The guy next to him replies, "Look, fella, I'm 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, and I'm a USC grad. The guy next to me is 6-2, 225, and he's a USC grad. The big dude next to him is 6-5, weighs 250, and he's a USC grad. You still wanna tell that joke?" The first guy replies: "Not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."

6. UCLA JOKE: What do medical marijuana and UCLA football have in common? They both get smoked in bowls.

6. USC JOKE: How many USC football players does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but he gets four academic credits for it.

5. UCLA JOKE: What do you call a Bruin in a BCS bowl game? A referee.

5. USC JOKE: Did you hear about the fire in the USC football dorm that destroyed 20 books? The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

4. UCLA JOKE: USC is playing UCLA at the Rose Bowl, and the Bruins have a first down with 3 minutes left in the half. A UCLA fan sets off a firecracker, and USC, thinking it's the end of the half, runs off the field. Three plays later, UCLA punts.

4. USC JOKE: What happens when Lane Kiffin takes Viagra? He gets taller.

3. UCLA JOKE: A security guard at the Rose Bowl notices two UCLA fans climbing a fence. The guard grabs them by the collars and says "Now just get back in there and watch the game until it finishes."

3. USC JOKE: If you see a USC fan on a bicycle, why should you swerve to avoid hitting him? It might be your bicycle.

2. UCLA JOKE: What do you get when you cross Rick Neuheisel with a groundhog? Six more weeks of bad football.

2. USC JOKE: What does the average USC football player get on his SAT? Drool.

1. UCLA JOKE: Did you hear that UCLA's football team doesn't have a website? They can't string three "Ws" together.

1. USC JOKE: Four alumni were climbing a mountain one day. Each was from a different Pac-10 school and proclaimed to be the most loyal fan. They argued all the way up the mountain, and finally as they reached the top, the Cardinal hurled himself off the mountain and shouted "This is for Stanford!" Not wanting to be outdone, the Oregon alum threw himself off the mountain yelling, "This is for the Ducks!" Seeing this, the Bruin shouted "This is for everyone" - and pushed the Trojan fan off the mountain.

Fight on...